Zee Pug Knows It

Huffing and puffing, we made it to the Alaska Airlines service desk.

"I heard we have a top secret message!," I said, panting. "It's from my nephew Adele and my niece Owen. I mean my nephew Owen and my niece Adele!" The man working at the counter looked at me from behind the smallest round  glasses I'd ever seen. Behind the tiny glasses, his grey eyes were huge.

When he saw Snuffy put his little cowboy-boot-clas paws on the counter, the man's grey eyes got even huger while the glasses seemed to grow smaller.

"Is zat a pug?" he asked with a strong French accent. "J'adore les pugs!" Then he started petting Snuffy and whispering things in French into Snuffy's little black ear.

I often noticed that strangers would talk to Snuffy and not me.  For example, if we were going for a walk, strangers would come up to us, bend down, and start chatting with Snuffy - saying things like "Oh, aren't you cute!" or "What's your name?" All the while they wouldn't say a word to me.

Usually it didn't bother me. But today I was very impatient to know what the secret message from Owen and Adele was!

Snuffy, meanwhile, was wagging his tail. He seemed to be listening very carefully to what the man with the tiny glasses was saying. After a few minutes, Snuffy finally said "Merci beaucoup!" with a very bad French accent. I was so shocked that my mouth fell wide open. I had no idea Snuffy knew how to speak French.

Then Snuffy turned to me and said, "Allons-y! I mean, let's go! We have to hurry!"

"But--" I looked back and forth from Snuffy to the man with the tiny glasses - "We didn't get the secret message from Owen and Adele."

The man behind the counter winked at me with one of his large grey yes. "Oh yes, you did," he said. "Zee pug knows it!"

I looked back at Snuffy. He was so excited now that his cowboy hat was askew. "Well?!" I said impatiently. "What is the message?"

"It's top secret!" he said. "But if you follow me, I'll take you to them! Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I'll give you a hint. They didn't arrive by air. They arrived by water -- under the water!"

A mysterious message from Owen and Adele

 Flashbulbs whirred. Shutters clicked. It was as if Snuffy were a movie star the way people were taking pictures of him!

The photographers showed no signs of stopping either, even though we were now 15 minutes late to get Owen and Adele.

"Would you like my autograph?" I heard Snuffy say.

Suddenly I had an idea.

"Hey everyone," I said, "there are the famous movies stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and their six children!"

"What?" "Huh?" All the people taking pictures of Snuffy turned to look at me. "Where?!"

I pointed in the direction of a large family who had their back to us, walking toward their car with lots of suitcases.  "There!" I said.

Poof! All of a sudden the photographers were gone. A cloud of dust rose up behind them as the chased after the large family.  Then I snatched Snuffy up off the ground and ran.

We ran all the way through the parking garage, then down an escalator, then up an escalator. Then we ran through a long hallway into the airport terminal. I stopped at the big sign to see where Owen and Adele's gate was.

"Yeehaw!" said Snuffy. "Giddyup!"

"I'm...(gasp)...not...(gasp)...a horse!" I tried to say, but I was too out of breath.

Just then, an announcement came over the loudspeaker.

"Would Aunt Becky and Snuffy please report to the Alaska Airlines service desk?"

Snuffy and I looked at each other.

"We have an important, top-secret message for you from Owen and Adele. Repeat, Aunt Becky and Snuffy please report to the Alaska Airlines service desk immediately."

Say "cheese!"

 Finally Snuffy and I made it to the airport and parked the car. We were five minutes late.

"Let's go!" said Snuffy, who was wearing his now cowboy hat and cowboy boots. He leapt out of the car. "We're late because you were driving so slow!"

I didn't bother telling Snuffy we were late because of his unplanned shopping trip. I was too worried about finding Owen and Adele and making sure they didn't wait too long. It was their first time flying anywhere by themsevles! "Can you walk a little faster?" I said to Snuffy.

But he couldn't walk very fast because of the new cowboy boots. Snuffy had bought not just one, but TWO pairs of cowboy boots, so he could have a boot on all four legs!  Now he was walking very, very slowly because of it.

People walking by with their suitcases turned and stared at Snuffy. They had never seen a pug in a cowboy hat and boots before. One lady in a puffy blue jacket stopped as she walked by and said, "Oh, that is the most darling thing I've ever seen! Do you mind if I take a photo?"

"Well, we're kind of in a hurry - " I started to say, but Snuffy interrupted me.

"Yes, of course you can take a photo!" he said. "Let me just strike an interesting pose. My left side is my best, you know. My nose doesn't look quite so flat on that side."

"But Snuffy," I said, "We're late! Owen and Adele are waiting! We need to get to the dude ranch!"

Snuffy didn't hear me because he was busy posing. And before I knew it, he was surrounded by people taking photos of him. Cameras whirred and clicked. The crowd closed in around Snuffy. I couldn't even see him anymore!

"Wow!" "Have you ever seen anything like that!" "Is that pug a professional model?" I heard people say.

I looked at my watch. Now we were 15 minutes late to meet Owen and Adele! I didn't want them to get scared or lost in the airport. I had to do something, and I had to do it quickly.

On the way to the airport

Finally I'd gotten my suitcase all zipped up and Snuffy and I were in the car. We started heading toward the airport. 

Snuffy and I were both very excited for our dude ranch vacation with Owen and Adele. I even had a secret plan for something we were going to do at the dude ranch that I hadn't told Snuffy about.

"Wait!" cried Snuffy, as we got closer to the airport.  "Turn here!"

"What do you mean? That's not the turnoff for the airport!"

"I know that," said Snuffy. "Do you think I'm dumb? We're going to Renton Western Wear so I can get a cowboy hat!

"Oh - right," I said. And I was just barely able to turn off the freeway without causing an accident. Several horns honked at me.

"You should be a little more careful," sniffed Snuffy.

"Excuse me, you're the one who told me to make that turn at the very last minute! Besides, I'd like to see you try to drive."

"Pugs don't drive."

"I'm sure there's a good reason for that," I muttered.

"Wait!" cried Snuffy. "Turn here! This is the way to Renton Western Wear!"

Again, I made the turn quickly and several cars honked at me. Honk honk honk HONK!

"You're going to get us killed," said Snuffy.

"Are we almost at Renton Western Wear?" I said, exasperated. Because we're going to be late to pick Owen and Adele up at the airport!"

"Yes, yes, we're almost there - WAIT - turn HERE!" yelled Snuffy. The tires screeched as I swerved into the parking lot. An old man in a cowboy hat and fancy leather boots shook his fist at us.  I couldn't hear what he was saying but I knew that whatever it was, it wasn't nice.

Snuffy rolled down his window. "Sir, I'm very sorry about that," he said. "Aunt Becky is a terrible driver. That is why I wear my doggie seatbelt at all times - to protect myself in case of an accident. Will you forgive her for almost ending your life prematurely?" Snuffy looked at the old man with his big brown eyes.

The old man just stared at Snuffy. After a few seconds, his mean frown went away. All the extra wrinkles in his forehead disappeared. Then, before I knew it, he smiled at Snuffy. Not only that - he reached into his pocket and brought out a doggie treat.

As he held his hand out to Snuffy, he looked at me sternly. The smile went away. "Young lady, you better watch your driving. This here is a very cute pug and you want to be careful, you hear? Plus, you almost ran right over my new boots."

"Yes sir, I'm very sorry," I said. I didn't even bother trying to explain to him how it was all Snuffy's fault that we practically ran over his new boots.

Snuffy just scarfed up the treat with a very loud chomping noise. CHOMP CHOMP SLURP!

 "You take care now," said the old man, patting Snuffy gently on the head and smiling again. Then he walked away, admiring his new boots.

"All right," said Snuffy, unbuckling his seat belt. "I hope you brought your wallet, because it's SHOPPING TIME!"

A Pug needs a cowboy hat

"OK," said Snuffy, "I am almost ready to go the dude ranch." He zipped up his small, tidy suitcase.

"Great," I answered. "I'm packed too! In an hour, Owen and Adele will be getting here on the airplane and we can go to the airport to pick them up." Then I tried to zip my own suitcase, which was very big and messy, with clothes spilling out every which way.

"An hour? But that's not enough time!" said Snuffy.

"What do you mean?" I sat on my suitcase to see if that would help me zip it.  "I thought you were ready to go."

"I said I was almost ready to go," said Snuffy. "There's a big difference between being ready and being ALMOST ready.

"Oh?" I said in a distracted way. I pulled and pulled on the zipper of my suitcase, but  still, it wouldn't zip. I had too many things in it.

But what would I take out? I had seven pairs of underwear, six t-shirts, five pairs of socks, four pairs of shoes, three pairs of pants, two dresses, and one sweater. I needed every single one of those things!

"Your suitcase looks a little full," said Snuffy in a very superior voice. "You need to learn to pack light - like me." 

"Well, I said, it's a little easier when you're a pug - you don't wear clothes!" 

"You might be right about that," said Snuffy. "But pugs do wear cowboy hats!" 

I looked at him in astonishment. "They do? How do you know that?" 

"I saw it on the Internet," he said, as if it were obvious. "And now, before we pick Owen and Adele up at the airport, we must go find one for me! Please hurry up and get your suitcase zipped because this is very important." 

Photo courtesty of hgtv.com

Time for a trip, says Snuffy

Snuffy said to me the other day, "I think it's time to go on a trip!"

"Hmm," I said. "Maybe you're right. Where do you think we should go?"

"What do I look like?" said Snuffy, "A travel agent?"

"Well, no..." I said.

"Do I have to do all the work around here?" 

"Well, you don't really do any work," I said. "Mostly you sleep all day and all night."

"Well, that is my JOB," said Snuffy.

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Yes," he said. "That is the job of all pugs - to sleep 16 hours a day. We are also required to  eat and poop on grass and sniff other dog's butts. But I need a vacation from work. That's why I said we should go on a trip!"

"OK," I said. "You never have to convince me to travel somewhere."

"But of course," said Snuffy, "we have to take Owen and Adele with us."

"Oh yes, I know," I said. "I wonder where they might like to go?"

"Somewhere where there's lots of dog kibble?" suggested Snuffy.

I thought for a moment. "I don't think so." Then I said "I know!"

Snuffy cocked his head and raised his eybrows.

"Let's go to a dude ranch where we can ride horses!" 

Snuffy looked at me suspicously. "Are you sure pugs can ride horses?" he asked.

"I know SOME dogs can ride horses," I said. "But you might be the first PUG ever to do it and then you could be famous! And when you're famous you can have all the dog kibble you want."

"Let's go!" said Snuffy. And he immediately started packing his suitcase.

Photo courtesy of Dreamdogs UK

Dog Kibble Cupcakes

Snuffy told me that he would like to get a cupcake today.

And you know what I said?

"Ha ha ha ha. Dogs can't eat cupcakes!" But then I said, "Snuffy, I think it is an excellent idea for ME to get a cupcake but you can come along and watch me eat it! How does that sound?"

Then I added, "Plus, it will be great excerise for you because we'll have to walk all the way up to the top of Queen Anne Hill to the new cupcake shop there called Wink Cupcakes that I am very excited to try! And when we get to the top I will give you a baby carrot!"

"Thanks so much for the idea, Snuffy!" I said. "What kind of cupcake do you think I should get?"

Snuffy stared at me for a few seconds, in that way he has when he's annoyed. Then he said, "I hear their dog kibble cupcake is delicious!"

Photo courtesy of Wink Cupcakes